I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
and she was petting her beer can
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
