Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
