what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
