Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize