I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Randomize
