Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
