theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I wish i was in the wii world.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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