lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
