I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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