it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
