Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(775): View more from Nevada

i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure

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(304): View more from West Virginia

enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this

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(303): View more from Colorado

Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

he asked me to hangout with him...and his son

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(985): View more from Louisiana

she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.

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(619): View more from California

Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it

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(440): View more from Ohio

I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.

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