my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
