apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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