How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
