At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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