i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
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