For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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