Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Dick very happy bro
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
