Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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