I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
