people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
