i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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