He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm at about main and main street
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
