Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
