Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
