we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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