: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
