wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
