he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
