Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
