Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
