how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
