It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
