do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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