I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
