:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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