Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
