i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
