the new term for farting is butt boxing.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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