just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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