I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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