Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
