But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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