508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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