By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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