So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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