glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
