I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
