Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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