Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize