i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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