I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
