i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I have aggressive nipples.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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