I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
