I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
