so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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