you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize